Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
