he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
