Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
