Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Someone came in the potted fern
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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