WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
