absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
