I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
