I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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