Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize