I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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