quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
