the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
