i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i think i have two assholes
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
