I wannas sexs uuuuu
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
