Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
