so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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