I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
