marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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