bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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