And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
be right there i have to get my cape
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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