Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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