Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
