Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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