WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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