And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
