he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
