Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize