Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
