the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
