so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
