I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Randomize
