I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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