In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
