If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
