Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
