We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
