hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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