we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
