Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
