why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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