weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
