At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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