Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
