I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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