Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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