Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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