Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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