This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
