Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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