Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
