Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
