I accidentally burped into my bong.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
