I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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