Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
