its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
