Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
