Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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