Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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