made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize