It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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