I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
