I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
