The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
